Simply Put.

How shall we analyse you this evening?

Shall we start with your outer covering, the gold you often display to new acquaintances?
Or shall we wait till you trip, so that that the thin foil peels, and your true colour's seen?
Shocked though we may be at the drastic change, we say nothing, but continue to examine you.
In silence, we stumble upon the shell, the armour of sorts.
Surprisingly, this gives way, after a few gentle taps, and all's soft and sweet inside.
Maybe you weren't as bad as we thought you were.
Perhaps we should have stopped here.
But we go on.
Deeper and deeper, until even the most doubtful ones are satisfied, when-
CRACK!
There's a hard nut right in your heart.

And after this happens a couple of times with different people, we begin to realise, hey, this is becoming as ordinary as eating a ferrero rocher.

okay shanti and shilpa, i won't delete this. thanks for tagging, by the way =] but do excuse me if i don't update often enough.





i'm writing a little story. but i'm stuck. again. that's the problem with giving characters in the story a life of their own. they think for themselves and do or say things that i cant change. arghhh. i've written about two paragraphs, but i'll put up the whole thing as one piece when i'm done ok?



school's been okay. my music's keeping me going.

i can't wait for the cricket camp =]

i can't think of anything else to write now.

I think i'm going to delete this blog.

Weathered.

Thank You taggers! it's very nice to visit this place after ages and see so many tags.

I came late to school because i wasn't feeling well in the morning. I couldn't skip school entirely 'cos i urgently had to meet mr harris and akanksha, my lovely vice-captain =] and i also had to pass shakura her math tutorial which i borrowed because i missed that lesson to go help IP open house prep. But my headache was worse by then so i went to the office after meeting raymay, BOM [who hadn't done lit essay either =P] bev, laura and michee, to get an excuse slip. I just realised i've missed a lot of lessons. Shucks.

After going home and sleeping for an hour or two, i woke up and tried to do my work but gave up because my head wouldn't cooperate, so i just went back to sleep. My sister woke me up a little while later, cos i had 9 missed calls from akanksha, whom i'd left all the organising to today. She told me we were leaving for the match earlier, so i rushed to school and met kank, simmie, sam, vaishali, karan, mahesha and shilpa. thank you four-three people for all the enquiries!

We took 2 taxis to the match at Ceylon Sports Club, and dhevy, pushpa, nivedh, rama and reema joined us there. Thanks for coming down and supporting, you guys! it's really appreciated!

I can't honestly say it was a good game. We lost, but like simran says, it's commendable that they can perform the way they did even without a coach, and after not being able to train properly during the ICS Nite period. I have tremendous faith in the guys! This game binds us, and their sorrow is mine. but we'll all get over it =]

I met raghav from TJ there, who's opener! good eh. you guys played good stuff today. As to that idea of yours, i'll think seriously about it ok? It will be pretty fun but i don't know if we can give you a game worth worth playing. and thanks once more for the songs!

Dhevy pushpa vaishali and i shared a taxi back. After reaching home, i had to practise for violin class tomorrow and then i came online to check on this blog. I've got pw meeting online at 11pm, and we may be meeting tomorrow as well, face-to-face.

I've got 2 drafted posts, and one of them is the start of a short story that's taking a long time to write. I hope i can catch up on my work before wednesday, 'cos i may be going to watch the guys play on thursday as well, after KI lecture.

Reply tags:
michee: maybe i should just support him outright. will it make you happy that i'm accepting the position forced on me or will you hate me forever? HAHA.

simran: =]

jiaxin: haha i hope we're thinking of the same lit lesson. yep it was fun but i think i prefer it when we don't combine. smile! =]

dw: haha thanks! thanks for coming down and thanks for the mini performance u pea olivia and aaron put up for me! haha and thanks for the cheery sunflower!

shanti: haha ok. thanks! i'll tag you very soon!

tc: haha. well it's over now =] you guys kinda bulldozed us =[

mia: LOL.

simran: done, sexy!

michee: can we start tomorrow? meet online or something? i'll sms u and rachel. haha you both qualify for the adjective, though i shouldn't be the one telling you that. OH guess what? i saw your mortal on the bus last saturday when i was going to my music class! haha he was with the harmoc people. i saw wen jun too but i don't think he saw me. THEN a little while later i saw rama! haha.

okay people that's all for now. have a great holiday tomorrow!

Post-ICS Nite.

Sorry i haven't been blogging for a long time. I was really caught up with MusicFest, then ICS nite. I'm so proud of the ICS guys for their dance! Both were damn fun experiences, though they were very time-consuming, especially ICS nite. Now that's it's over, i better start studying. I should be doing my KI essay, lit essay, lit math physics and chem tutorials, math assignment and i'm sure there's more i can't remember now. And i've got to practise for violin exam.

Thank you to everyone who supported us for ICS nite! S43, V14, Cedarians, Haig girls, ex-Victorians, TJCians. =]

Reply Tags:
tc: u don't have to post only about your trainings, you could post about cricket in general! haha. nice talking to you yesterday.

simmie: HELLO! hope you're not tired any more!

jiaxin: i STILL haven't finished Great Ex!

michee: i ask for NICE arm writing, not irritating ones!

shanti: you're cuter! haha thanks for coming down on friday and helping out!

nandita: haha it's okay =] yea it was cheesy but i still like it! lol. the song was 'Dare you to move' right?

jx: thank you! i did =D

shanti: haha thanks loads! you should come down whenever you can k?

sorry i have to go now. i'll post a loong entry sometime this week.

Simply Put.

How shall we analyse you this evening?

Shall we start with your outer covering, the gold you often display to new acquaintances?
Or shall we wait till you trip, so that that the thin foil peels, and your true colour's seen?
Shocked though we may be at the drastic change, we say nothing, but continue to examine you.
In silence, we stumble upon the shell, the armour of sorts.
Surprisingly, this gives way, after a few gentle taps, and all's soft and sweet inside.
Maybe you weren't as bad as we thought you were.
Perhaps we should have stopped here. But we go on.
Deeper and deeper, until even the most doubtful ones are satisfied, when-
CRACK!
There's a hard nut right in your heart.

And after this happens a couple of times with different people, we begin to realise, hey, this is becoming as ordinary as eating a ferrero rocher.

A Walk To Remember

Do you know why i haven't been posting for a while? Firstly, i have lotsa work, and secondly, the post i'm working on is taking me longer than i'd expected. So i'll make this a quick one and post the one i'm working on as soon as it's done.

School's been okay so far. Lit is one of the loves of my school life. Yep, like jiaxin says, it's getting more fun now that we're being more open about what we feel. ICS nite practise is taking up most of my time. I'm enjoying every bit of it! If you're reading this and happen to want tickets, contact me.

Chem lecture test is next week, and i haven't started studying yet. And there are two KI essays due next week, and mock chem SPA too. And i haven't finished reading Great Expectations yet, though i think i'm supposed to have already.

Dhevy tells me that at heart, i'm an Arts student. I'm hardly sure myself, not that it matters much now anyway. I don't regret taking Science, though the Arts are still very appealing.

Did anyone watch the movie A Walk To Remember? I loved it.

Okay i have to go now. This post is shorter than i wanted it to be and took longer than i expected it to.

All the very best to all MusicFest participants!

Second-in-line.

Note: Parallels to real life are NOT INTENDED, and deliberately avoided.



She was jealous, and she admitted it. Only to herself though. People would never believe she was capable of having such hard feelings. Each day that feeling gnawed at her heart like a dog and it's bone. That was what her heart had become, hard and unfeeling as bone. The feeling was tiring her, hollowing her heart out but preserving the skin, the face-value. On and on, till she reached a point when she felt she would collapse from within.

It infuriated her that she was weak enough to collapse. It infuriated her that she wasn't strong enough to resist jealousy. But it maddened her that she was never given any acknowledgement, while her friend [she stubbornly refused to think of her as anything less than her close friend] was praised beyond the classroom walls by the Others, the sycophants.

And it wasn't the case of her knowing why she was treated that way. Unable to fathom why she wasn't given equal acknowledgement, she blamed it on herself, as she always did. Supressing her anger and all other negative emotions was nothing new to her. She was quite familiar with it, as a matter of fact, for she couldn't find any other way of preserving her friendship.

Without fail, she received a nice expensive gift from the Others each birthday [wrapped by the saleswoman] and it was always accompanied by a card [the type you pick off a shelf] thanking her "for everything" [the card never specified what exactly]. Then, for a few hours, she'd almost burst with happiness. For a few days, she'd re-read the card. For a few weeks, she'd wonder how she could ever have been jealous of such a loving friend when she was treated the same way by Others.

And by the end of the month, she'd have remembered why.

The terrible feeling would rise again, stronger than ever, like a wave that rises higher and crashes harder each time. She'd spent her every waking moment thinking of a reason, just one, for why this was happening. Her heart and her mind were at constant battle, one telling her she loved her friendship too much to house that evil feeling, jealousy, the other telling her she shouldn't care about those whom she felt inferior around.

She thought perhaps it as because her "friend" [she was getting doubtful as to her being a friend at all] was pretty and cute, that everyone endlessly praised her. Was she too pretty to notice the cringe on the face that was always beside hers?

And what about the Others? Did they think she didn't mind being ignored just because she always smiled with pride when someone praised her friend? Maybe they presumed that the sentence that was added on just for politeness' sake was enough for her. "Oh yea, you too. thanks for helping." She told herself to sincerely feel happy for her friend, just like heroines in movies. They would never dream of feeling jealous. But her fortress of pretence was crumbling along with her spirit, and she feared people would very soon see exactly how she felt. [No hope for genuine praise if that should happen, she thought grimly.]

Fiercer and fiercer, the battle within her raged. Bullets penetrated her failing heart and swords slashed into pieces eyes that had once loved the sight of her friend. She felt herself losing control, and she didn't know if she was angry with her friend for getting all the praise, or angry at the superficial Others.

Till one day, one of them came up to her, and told her how much more they'd accomplished her her around, and how much they appreciated her help. She was overwhelmed, and thought smugly about how her friend should have been there to stand on the side-lines for once. "We never realised how we made you feel", they'd said. " "What made you realise it all of a sudden?", she'd asked, more for curiosity's sake than to be snobbish.

"Your friend of course. She was really angry at us for making you feel that way. You're lucky to have someone like her."

The pent-up jealousy was finally leaving her, through her tears that fell, glistening, onto the gift she'd just received, tiny [but made by a huge heart], cheap [but made by a priceless hands], wrapped in crumpled gift paper [but with a friend's love in each fold], accompanied by a handmade card [that would never be found on a shelf], and a letter, thanking her for everything she'd done, from the time they'd first met, to yesterday.

The only thing she saw was her friend's reflection in her tears.